MOUNTAIN MAN
NEXT BLOG
Posted by: ronni9, 10:05 PM GMT en Marzo 02, 2011 +0
(({{ LAUS DEO }}))


These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.


In God We Trust


Bad news
To save the economy, on September 30, 2011, the government will announce
that it is ordering the immigration department to start deporting
old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security
and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch, and will not remember how to get
back home!

I started crying when I thought of you.....see you on the bus.



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Ten Thoughts to Ponder
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible
rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich ..

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...
not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when
you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And Still The Number 1
Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers;
what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last long"

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Keep You Going
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing ,
But Only Friends Keep You Going

-------------------------------------------------
Summary of Life
GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her
brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always
catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do
while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from
a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but
nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus. ----------

Always remember to smile, it leaves a little sunshine into your life
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Live Well,
Love Much,
Laugh Often
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COUNTRY MAN !!!!!
Link


I AM IN MY 50s I HAVE LIVED MY LIFE IN THE BIG CITY'S DALLAS, HOUSTON, AUSTIN .
BUT THEN, ABOUT ELEVEN YEARS AGO THE COUNTRY CALLED.
NOW I'M OFF THE GRID! W/NO T.V.STATION BUT WITH SATELLITE RADIO.
I'M LIVING IN FAR FAR WEST TEXAS ON THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN.
AWAY FROM ALL THAT BIG CITY POLITICS, POLLUTION, GRID LOCK,
AND ALL THOSE BAD PEOPLE YOU SEE ON THE EVENING NEWS.

THANKS FOR COMING BY. HOPE YOU ENJOY SOME OF MY BLOG.
I'M LEAVING SOME OF THE OLD STUFF SO WE DON'T FORGET
WOULDN'T WANT TO REPEAT OURSELVES...
AND TO GIVE THOSE WHO ARE FIRST TIME VISITOR
A CHANCE TO CATCH UP.
I WILL TRY TO KEEP IT LESS POLITICAL AND MORE UP BEAT
I UPDATE IT EACH WEEKEND SO PLEASE COME SEE ME AGAIN...


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A NEW WEATHER STATION GO'S ON LINE !!

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Gentle Thoughts for Today -





I COULDN'T SPOT ANYTHING HE LEFT
OUT.

I Am the Democratic, Republican Liberal-Progressive's Worst Nightmare.
I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, American Veteran, Gun Owning Biker. That’s me!
I am a Master Mason. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.

I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive American-made cars, and I believe in
American products and buy them whenever I can.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some liberal governmental functionary,
Democratic or Republican, that wants to share it with others who don't work!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to
anything. Get over it!

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.

I believe there should be no other language option.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are Malcolm Forbes, Bill Gates, John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.

I've never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted
by the Turks, and neither have you!

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and
change your own country!

This is AMERICA ..We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ...so stop trying to
change it to look like Russia or China , or some other socialist country!

If you were born here and don't like it... you are free to move to any Socialist country that will
have you. I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the White House, the seat
of our biggest problems.

I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches,
where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution?

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of
what color you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good....
And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money..

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who
should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me
into making 'donations' to their cause.... Get a job and do your part to support yourself and
your family!

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents....

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know...

We want our country back!

My Country...... I hope this offends all illegal aliens.

My great, great, great, great grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the Revolution
& the War of 1812.
My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Mexican
American War.
My great, great grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the
Civil War.
My great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Spanish-American War.
My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I.
My father watched as his friends died in WW II.

I watched as my friends died in Vietnam , Panama & Desert Storm.
My son watched & bled as his friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq .
None of them died for the Mexican Flag.
Everyone died for the American flag.

Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole,
other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.

California high school students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore
T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.

Enough is enough

This message needs to be viewed by
every American; and every American
needs to stand up for America .

We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking
a stand.

I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in
wars for this country, and for the American flag..

If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know.
I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.

AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS !

Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY !

This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration !

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:

1. Get a sponsor !

2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past !

3. Live by OUR rules !

4. Get a job !

5. Pay YOUR Taxes !

6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it !

7. NOW find a place to lay your head !

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone,
then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !

We've gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend
anyone.

Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !

WAKE UP America ! ! !





Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the
Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River
and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as
anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere
in the world looks at it they know what it is.
It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in
Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in
the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens
if I show you a picture of any other state? You
might get it maybe after a second or two, but who
else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir
any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there
is a person who wishes just once he could be a
real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off
in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone..

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a
church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting
for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and
save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and
die for the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and
James Bowie and Davy Crockett, and do you know why?
Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided
to cross it and be heroes.

John Wayne paid to do the movie himself.
That is the Spirit of Texas

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana at San Jacinto.
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett
and Sam Houston National Forests.
Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.
Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.
Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country on a hot summer day.
Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.

Texas is beaches you can drive on and have many memorable bon-fires with close friends.
Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you're from.

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.
Texas is Mexican foods like nowhere else, not even Mexico.
Texas is chicken fried steak and world famous Bar-B-Q.
Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the
Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome.
(guess now the Reliant Stadium too)..

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey,
Ann Richards, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy
Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones,
Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcet, Janis Joplin,
Sandra Bullock, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry,
Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Roger Staubach
Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn,
Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson,
George W. Bush, and let's not forget GEORGE STRAIT-
PANTERA, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones,
Clay Walker, Mark Chestnut, to name ONLY a few.

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq,
Whataburger, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and
LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of
the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero.
Texas is NASA.
Texas is huge herds of cattle, beautiful horses and miles of crops.
Texas is home to the world famous King Ranch.
Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field
Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.
Texas is skies blackened with doves and fields full of deer.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the
local high school football game on Friday nights
and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football at
the new Texas Stadium, and for the Night
In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio.

To drive across Texas is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States .

Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities

If it isn't already in Texas, we probably don't need it.
No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. That can
fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag.
Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars
and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California ,
or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet.
You fly the Stars and Stripes in
front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet,
the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet.
You know why?
Because it’s the only state that was a Republic before it became a state

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American
down here. Our capitol is the only one in the
country that is taller than the capitol building in
Washington , DC . And we can divide our state into
five states at any time if we wanted to!
We can become a republic again at any time the voters of
Texas choose, and we included these things as
part of the deal when we came on.

That's the best part, right there.

Texas even has its own power grid!! And don't even lie to
yourself... Did I mention the Live music capitol of the world?
If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won't even need to be told to
pass this on…. Do It.

GOD BLESS TEXAS
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TEXANS SURVIVE !




Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems.. They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are
riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep. They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos.

They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are
walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their darn horses with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.."

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello --hold on a minute." When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?" Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are having down there with
the Texans." The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something." After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?" Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this...hold on!!!!"

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry Gabriel -- I can't talk right now!! Red Adair has put out the fire here and now Brown & Root is installing air
conditioning!!!!"

Always remember ... TEXANS SURVIVE ... despite the odds against us!!!
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WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A TEXAN
by Bum Phillips

Dear Friends,

Last year, I wrote a small piece about what it means to me to be a Texan. My friends know it means about damned near everything. Anyway, this fella asked me to reprint what I'd wrote and I didn't have it. So I set out to think about rewriting something. I considered writing about all the great things I love about Texas. There are way too many things to list. I can't even begin to do it justice. Lemme let you in on my short list.

It starts with The Window at Big Bend, which in and of itself is proof of God. It goes to Lake Sam Rayburn where my Grandad taught me more about life than fishin, and enough about fishin to last a lifetime. I can talk about Tyler, and Longview, and Odessa and Cisco, and Abilene and Poteet and every place in between.

Every little part of Texas feels special. Every person who ever flew the Lone Star thinks of Bandera or Victoria or Manor or wherever they call "home" as the best little part of the best state. So I got to thinkin about it, and here's what I really want to say.

Last year, I talked about all the great places and great heroes who make Texas what it is. I talked about Willie and Waylon and Michael Dell and Michael DeBakey and my Dad and LBJ and Denton Cooley. I talked about everybody that came to mind. It took me sitting here tonight reading this stack of emails and thinkin about where I've been and what I've done since the last time I wrote on this occasion to remind me what it is about Texas that is really great.

You see, this last month or so I finally went to Europe for the first time. I hadn't ever been, and didn't too much want to. But you know all my damned friends are always talking about "the time they went to Europe." So, I finally went. It was a hell of a trip to be sure. All they did when they saw me was say the same thing, before they'd ever met me. "Hey cowboy, we love Texas." I guess the hat tipped em off.

But let me tell you what, they all came up with a smile on their faces. You know why? They knew for damned sure that I was gonna be nice to em. They knew it cause they knew I was from Texas. They knew something that hadn't even hit me. They knew Texans, even though they'd never met one.

That's when it occurred to me. Do you know what is great about Texas? Do you know why when my friend Beverly and I were trekking across country to see 15 baseball games we got sick and had to come home after 8? Do you know whyevery time I cross the border I say, "Lord, please don't let me die in_____"? Do you know why children in Japan can look at a picture of the great State and know exactly what it is about the same time they can tell a rhombus from a trapezoid?

I can tell you that right quick. You.

The same spirit that made 186 men cross that line in the sand in San Antonio damned near 165 years ago is still in you today. Why else would my friend send me William Barrett Travis' plea for help in an email just a week ago, or why would Charles Stanfield ask me to reprint a Texas Independence column from a year ago? What would make my friend Elizabeth say, "I don't know if I can marry a man who doesn't love Texas like I do?" Why in the hell are 1,000 people coming to my house this weekend to celebrate a holiday for what used to be a nation that is now a state?

Because the spirit that made that nation is the spirit that burned in every person who founded this great place we call Texas, and they passed it on through blood or sweat to everyone of us.

You see, that spirit that made Texas what it is alive in all of us, even if we can't stand next to a cannon to prove it, and it's our responsibility to keep that fire burning. Every person who ever put a "Native Texan" or an "I wasn't born in Texas but I got here as fast as I could" sticker on his car understands.

Anyone who ever hung a map of Texas on their wall or flew a Lone Star flag on their porch knows what I mean. My Dad's buddy Bill has an old saying. He says that some people were forged of a hotter fire. Well, that's what it is to be Texan. To be forged of a hotter fire. To know that part of Colorado was Texas. That part of New Mexico was Texas. That part of Oklahoma was Texas. Yep. Talk all you want. Part of what you got was what we gave you. To look at a picture of Idaho or Istanbul and say, "what the Hell is that?" when you know that anyone in Idaho or Istanbul who sees a picture of Texas knows damned good and well what it is. It isn't the shape, it isn't the state, it's the state of mind.

You're what makes Texas. The fact that you would take 15 minutes out of your day to read this, because that's what Texas means to you, that's what makes Texas what it is. The fact that when you see the guy in front of you litter you honk and think, "Sonofabitch. Littering on MY highway."

When was the last time you went to a person's house in New York and you saw a big map of New York on their wall? That was never. When did you ever drive through Oklahoma and see their flag waving on four businesses in a row? Can you even tell me what the flag in Louisiana looks like? I damned sure can't. But I bet my ass you can't drive 20 minutes from your house and not see a business that has a big Texas flag as part of its logo. If you haven't done business with someone called AllTex something or Lone Star somebody or other, or Texas such and such, you hadn't lived here for too long.

When you ask a man from New York what he is, he'll say a stockbroker, or an accountant, or an ad exec. When you ask a woman from California what she is, she'll tell you her last name or her major. Hell either of em might say "I'm a republican," or they might be a democrat. When you ask a Texan what they are, before they say, "I'm a Methodist," or "I'm a lawyer," or "I'm a Smith," they tell you they're a Texan.

I got nothin against all those other places, and Lord knows they've probably got some fine folks, but in your gut you know it just like I do, Texas is just a little different.

So tomorrow when you drive down the road and you see a person broken down on the side of the road, stop and help.. When you are in a bar in California, buy a Californian a drink and tell him it's for Texas Independence Day. Remind the person in the cube next to you that he wouldn't be here enjoying this if it weren't for Sam Houston, and if he or she doesn't know the story, tell them.

When William Barrettt Travis wrote in 1836 that he would never surrender and he would have Victory or Death, what he was really saying was that he and his men were forged of a hotter fire. They weren't your average everyday men. Well, that is what it means to be a Texan. It meant it then, and that's why it means it today. It means just what all those people North of the Red River accuse us of thinking it means. It means there's no mountain that we can't climb. It means that we can swim the Gulf in the winter. It means that Earl Campbell ran harder and Houston is bigger and Dallas is richer and Alpine is hotter and Stevie Ray was smoother and God vacations in Texas. It means that come Hell or high water, when the chips are down and the Good Lord is watching, we're Texans by damned, and just like in 1836, that counts for something..

So for today at least, when your chance comes around, go out and prove it. It's true because we believe it's true. If you are sitting wondering what the Hell I'm talking about, this ain't for you. But if the first thing you are going to do when the Good Lord calls your number is find the men who sat in that tiny mission in San Antonio and shake their hands, then you're the reason I wrote this night, and this is for you.

So until next time you hear from me, God Bless and Happy Texas Independence Day.
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Comments made in the year 1955!
That's only 58 years ago!


'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $1, 000.00 will only buy a used one.

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.

'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down inTexas .

'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.

'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.

'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.

'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.

'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.

'There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.

'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.'

'If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'



Things That Sound Dirty
Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, But Aren't


"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"

"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."

"Talk about a huge breast!"

"It's Cool Whip time!"

"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

"Are you going to come again next time?"

"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat."

"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."

"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

"How many are coming?"

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest."

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"



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25 THINGS ABOUT TO BECOME EXTINCT IN AMERICA
Will this happen in our life time?


25. U.S. Post Office
They are pricing themselves out of existence. With e-mail, and online services they are a relic of the past. (refer to #9) Packages are also sent faster and cheaper with UPS.
Removeing 60 blue mail box's a month don't help.

24. Yellow Pages
This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like Reach Local and Yodel Factors like 20 an acceleration of the print 'fade rate' and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages c ould even reach 10% this year -- much higher than the 2%-3% fade rate seen in past years.

23. Classified Ads
The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it.. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them.

22. Movie Rental Stores
While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially=2 0since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City . Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already.

21. Dial-up Internet Access
Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access.

20. Phone Land Lines
According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had land lines, one in eight only rece ived calls on their cells.

19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs
Maryland's icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay . Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainable population. Over-fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame.

18. VCRs
For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now the Digital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well.

17. Ash Trees
In the late 1990's, a pretty, iridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia . In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the
Midwest , and continue to spread . They've killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana . More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk.

16. Ham Radio
Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Int ernet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement.

15. The Swimming Hole
Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. '20/20' reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they'll sue. And that's exactly what happened in Seattle . The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park . As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post 'Keep out!' signs.

14. Answering Machines
The increasing disappearance of answering machines is dir ectly=2 0tied to No 20 our list -- the decline of landlines. According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has been particularly bad in New York ; since 2000, landline usage has dropped 55%. It's logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional landlines, that there will be fewer answering machines.

13. Cameras That Use Film
It doesn't require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America . Just look to 20 companies like Nikon, the professional' s choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market -- only 3% of its sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment.

12. Incandescent Bulbs
Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustaina ble-energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Lightbulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next fou r to 12 years.

11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys
Bowling Balls. US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types or recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf.
Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos.

10. The Milkman
According to=2 0the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles, by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steady decline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S. , they are certainly a dying breed...

9. Hand-Written Letters
In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day.. Two million each second. By Nove mber of 2007, an estimated 3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world's population had access to cell phone coverage. In 2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite hand-written letter?

8. Wild Horses
It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States . In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population has decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada . The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.

7. Personal Checks
According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments -- for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers' recurring bill payments20(down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in
2003).

6.. Drive-in Theaters
During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005.=2 0Only one reopened in 2005 and five reopened in 2006, so there isn't much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones.

5. Mumps & Measles
Despite what's been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United States . In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped20to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine, approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded.

4. Honey Bees
Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honey bee.. Very scary. 'Colony Collapse Disorder,' or CCD, has spread throughou t the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many
beekeepers -- and along with it, their livelihood.

3. News Magazines and TV News
While the TV evening newscasts haven't gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns of the evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that.

2.. Analog TV
According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For the remaining 15% -- or 13 million individuals -- who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is 20in the air. If you a re one of these people you'll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital..

1. The Family Farm
Since the 1930's, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census is just now being published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. FARMS are small Family Farms.

Both interesting and saddening, isn't it?
------------------------------------------------- --------


"Is this the cub scout luncheon?"

Hey Hey Hey Dis is my picnic spot! (from an 11 year old)

and from a friend's adult daughter -

"Hurray up with the food Goldilocks, I can "bearly" wait"

"Is it something I said?"

"These picnics are getting unbearable"

"No, I said we'd have beer at the barbeque."

What's for dinner?

Who cleaned up this place anyhow?

Aren't you back from the store yet?

Have a seat, let's discuss dinner plans!

"Hey - where'd everybody go?"

I CAN'T MOVE...I THINK I HAVE A SPLINTER IN MY BUTT!

damn it Micki ...wheres my breakfast?....

I Have Been Waiting for YOU !!!


------------------------------------------------- --------





WHAT ? !!
------------------------------------------------- --------




Drinking with a Texas Girl
A Mexican, an Arab, and a Texas girl are
in the same bar. When the Mexican
finishes his beer, he throws his glass
in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots
the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico ,
our glasses are so cheap we don't need
to drink with the same one twice..'


The Arab, obviously impressed by this,

drinks no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!),

throws it into the air, pulls out his

AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, 'In the Arab World, we have

so much sand to make glasses that we don't

need to drink with the same one twice either.'




The Texas girl, cool as a cucumber,





picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp,





throws the glass into the air, whips out her





45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.



Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,

she says,'In Texas we have so many

illegal aliens that we don't have to

drink with the same ones twice.'

God Bless Texas


------------------------------------------------- --------

A DIFFERENT WAYS OF THINGS

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billygram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11 Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

22. 10 rations = 1 decaration

23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration0D

24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

------------------------------------------------- --------
THE YEAR 1905

img src="" alt="" />


THE YEAR 1909


The year is 1909.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :


The average life expectancy was 47 years.

fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only


Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.


Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.


There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles

Of paved roads.


The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.


The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!


The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.


The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year ...


A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .


Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which

Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '


Sugar cost four cents a pound.


Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.


Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.


Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used

Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.


Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from

Entering into their country for any reason.


Five leading causes of death were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke


The American flag had 45 stars.


The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!


Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea Hadn't been invented yet.


There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school..




Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

( Shocking? DUH! )


Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.


There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A.!

Plus one more sad thought; 95 percent of the taxes we have now did not exist in 1909


I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.
>From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!


Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

IT STAGGERS THE MIND
-------------------------------------------


The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.
We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.
However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not ... a Congress!
I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington.




-------------------------------------------
PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
-------------------------------------------

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
(Or the uncertainty of the English language)


Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
------------------------------------------------- --------
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
------------------------------------------------- --------
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
------------------------------------------------- --------
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
------------------------------------------------- ----------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
------------------------------------------------- ---------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
------------------------------------------------- ---------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
------------------------------------------------- ---------
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
------------------------------------------------- ---------
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!'
------------------------------------------------- -----------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care.
................................................. ......................
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'

-------------------------------------------

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average...

6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

16. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

21 Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

22. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

23. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

24. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

25. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

-------------------------------------------

classifieds newspapers - a smile for your day...

1. FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

2. FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

3. FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog....able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

4. FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

5. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

6. NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

7. GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents/lb.

8. JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

9. WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one?:

10. FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition.
$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

-------------------------------------------
VERY INTERESTING STUFF

A TINY TIDBIT OF HISTORY!
WWII SECRET

This email reveals an interesting WWII military secret
that was just disclosed in 2007 a history treasure to pass
along to anyone who has played the game Monopoly.

WWII

Starting in 1941, an increasing number of British airmen found
themselves as the involuntary guests of the Third Reich, and
the crown was casting about for ways and means to facilitate
their escape. Now obviously, one of the most helpful aids to
that end is a useful and accurate map, one showing not only
where stuff was, but also showing the locations of 'safe
houses' where a POW on- the-lam could go for food and shelter.
Paper maps had some real drawbacks -- they make a lot of noise
when you open and fold them, they wear out rapidly, and if they
get wet, they turn into mush.

Someone in MI-5 (similar to America's OSS) got the idea of
printing escape maps on silk. It's durable, can be scrunched-up
into tiny wads, and unfolded as many times as needed, and makes
no noise whatsoever.. At that time, there was only one
manufacturer in Great Britain that had perfected the technology
of printing on silk, and that was John Waddington, Ltd.

When approached by the government, the firm was only too happy
to do its bit for the war effort. By pure coincidence, Waddington was
also the U.K. Licensee for the popular American board game, Monopoly.

As it happened, 'games and pastimes' was a category of item qualified
for insertion into 'CARE packages', dispatched by the International Red
Cross, to prisoners of war.

Under the strictest of secrecy, in a securely guarded and inaccessible
old workshop on the grounds
of Waddington's, a group of sworn-to-secrecy employees began
mass-producing escape maps, keyed to each region of Germany or
Italy where Allied POW camps were located (Red Cross packages
were delivered to prisoners in accordance with that same
regional system). When processed, these maps could be folded
into such tiny dots that they would actually fit inside a
Monopoly playing piece. As long as they were at it, the clever
workmen at Waddington's also managed to add:

1. A playing token, containing a small magnetic compass
2. A two-part metal file that could easily be screwed together
3. Useful amounts of genuine high-denomination German,
Italian, and French currency, hidden within the piles of
Monopoly money!

British and American air crews were advised, before taking off
on their first mission, how to identify a 'rigged' Monopoly set --
by means of a tiny red dot, one cleverly rigged to look like
an ordinary printing glitch, located in the corner of the Free
Parking square.

Of the estimated 35,000 Allied POWS who
successfully escaped, an estimated one-third were aided in their
flight by the rigged Monopoly sets. Everyone who did so was
sworn to secrecy indefinitely, since the British Government
might want to use this highly successful ruse in still another,
future war. The story wasn't de-classified until 2007, when the
surviving craftsmen from Waddington's, as well as the firm
itself, were finally honored in a public ceremony.

Anyway, it's always nice when you can play that 'Get Out of Jail
Free' card.

I realize you're all too young for WWII (!).....maybe,
but this is still interesting, isn't it?



-------------------------------------------


A BIT OF HISTORY


In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are 'limbs,' therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, 'Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg.' (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint)
****************************** ********************************
As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn't wash t he wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term 'big wig.' Today we often use the term 'here comes the Big Wig' because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
************************************************* *************

In the late 1700's, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The 'head of the household' always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one si tting in the chair the 'chair man.' Today in business, we use the expression or title 'Chairman' or 'Chairman of the Board.'
************************************************* *************
Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, 'mind your own bee's wax.' Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term 'crack a smile'. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . Therefore, the expression 'losing face.'
************************************************* *************
Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in 'straight laced'. Wore a tightly tied lace.
************************************************* *************
Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the 'Ace of Spades.' To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't 'playing with a full deck.'
************************************************* *************
Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to 'go sip some ale' and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. 'You go sip here' and 'You go sip there.' The two words 'go sip' were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term 'gossip.'
********************************* *****************************
At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in 'pints' and who was drinking in 'quarts,' hence the term 'minding your 'P's and Q's '
** ************************************************** **********
One more: bet you didn't know this!
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons.. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem....how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a 'Monkey' with 16 round indentations. However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make 'Brass Monkeys.' Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled. Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, 'Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.' (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.)


If you don't send this fabulous bit of historic knowledge to any and all your unsuspecting friends, your floppy is going to fall off your hard drive and kill your mouse.

-------------------------------------------

MORE INTERESTING STUFF


In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife
with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'.

-------------------------------------------

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled
'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

-------------------------------------------

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

-------------------------------------------

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

-------------------------------------------

Coca-Cola was originally green.

-------------------------------------------

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

-------------------------------------------

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

-------------------------------------------

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

-------------------------------------------

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-------------------------------------------


Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

-------------------------------------------

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

-------------------------------------------

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air,
the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

-------------------------------------------

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

-------------------------------------------

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

-------------------------------------------

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand

-------------------------------------------

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

-------------------------------------------

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

-------------------------------------------

Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

-------------------------------------------

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

-------------------------------------------
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
-------------------------------------------

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'.

-------------------------------------------

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

-------------------------------------------

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

-------------------------------------------

Don't pass this up just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read this below:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh (imagine 'huh' is jumbled up)?

------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't
have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an butthole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross
the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful
and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get
pregnant? Like, really?

(Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always
crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got
pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.

(Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers
can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky,
age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired
right up her big fat butt.(Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't
drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean.
What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.
(James, age 7

-------------------------------------------

While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds,

1.Don’t change horses
--------------------until they stop running.

2.Strike while the
--------------------wasp is close.

3.It’s always darkest before
--------------------Daylight Saving Time..

4.Never underestimate the power of
--------------------termites.

5.You can lead a horse to water but
--------------------How?

6.Don’t bite the hand that
--------------------looks dirty.

7.No news is
--------------------impossible

8.A miss is as good as a
--------------------Mr.

9.You can’t teach an old dog new
--------------------Maths

10.If you lie down with dogs, you’ll
--------------------stink in the morning..

11.Love all, trust
--------------------me.

12.The pen is mightier than the
--------------------pigs.

13.An idle mind is
--------------------the best way to relax

14.Where there’s smoke there’s
--------------------pollution.

15.Happy the bride who
--------------------gets all the presents.

16.A penny saved is
--------------------not much.

17.Two’s company, three’s
--------------------the Musketeers.

18.Don’t put off till tomorrow what
--------------------you put on to go to bed.

19.Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
--------------------You have to blow your nose.

20.There are none so blind as
--------------------Stevie Wonder .

21.Children should be seen and not
--------------------spanked or grounded.

22.If at first you don’t succeed
--------------------get new batteries.

23.You get out of something only what you
--------------------See in the picture on the box

24.When the blind lead the blind
--------------------get out of the way.

25.A bird in the hand
--------------------is going to poop on you.

-------------------------------------------
HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT?

You have to try this please it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe this !!! It is from an orthopaedic surgeon............. This will boggle your mind and you will keep you trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It's pre-programmed in your brain!

1. Without anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY!!) and while sitting at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your friends to frustrate them too.

-------------------------------------------

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~
AND FINALLY
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING

at yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HEADLINES
FROM THE YEAR 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.


Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss.


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.


Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.



Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.


Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.


Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.


New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....
NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very very scared.
I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Gynecologist:
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he desided to become a mechanic.

He went to the Nashville Auto Diesel College, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

when the time for the practical exam approched, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find thaat he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder is there an error in the grade."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

"You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you were thinking of SOMEONE ELSE

I was born in one country, raised in another.

My father was born in another country.

I was not his only child.

He fathered several children with numerous women.

I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.

My mother died at an early age from cancer.

Although my father deserted me and my mother raised me, I later wrote a book idolizing my father not my mother.

Later in life, questions arose over my real name.

My birth records were sketchy.

No one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my new country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and didn't follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.

That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up.

It was clear to those who read my memoirs, that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30's then, with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s.

They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything.

I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no
experience in leading a single organization.

Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me, as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.

I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances.

This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country's foreign policy...

I was very critical of my country in the last war, and seized every
opportunity to bash my country.

But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country's economy.

I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better, and every poor person would be fed and housed for free.

I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess.

It was the free market, banks and corporations.

I decided to start making citizens hate them and, if they became envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.

I called mine "A People's Campaign".

That sounded good to all people.

I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support.

I knew that, if I merely offered the people 'hope', together we could change our country and the world.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include "persecuted minorities".

My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation's leader.

I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out
what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined
those people associated with. I'm glad they didn't.

Then I became the most powerful man in the world.

And then world learned the truth.

Who am I?



ADOLPH HITLER
If you were thinking of SOMEONE ELSE, you should be scared, very scared!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I KNOW IT IS OLD NEWS REALLY OLD BUT I DO NOT WANT YOU TO FORGET WHAT WAS THEN CAN BE NOW---------------------
George W. Bush QUOTES
---------------------
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- George W. Bush

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- George W. Bush

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. "
- George W. Bush

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
- George W. Bush

"The future will be better tomorrow."
-George W. Bush

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- George W. Bush

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- George W. Bush

" We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe We are a part of Europe."
- George W. Bush

"Public speaking is very easy."
- George W. Bush

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- George W. Bush

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- George W. Bush

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- George W. Bush

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- George W. Bush

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- George W. Bush

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- George W. Bush

------------------------------------------------- ----------
img src="" alt="" />

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------------------------------------------------- ----------

img src="" alt="" />



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


If George W. Bush had doubled the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had criticized a state law that he admitted he never even read, would you think that he is just an ignorant hot head?


If George W. Bush joined the country of Mexico and sued a state in the United States to force that state to continue to allow illegal immigration, would you question his patriotism and wonder who's side he was on?



If George W. Bush had put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on offshore oil drilling on companies that have one of the best safety records of any industry because one company had an accident would you have agreed?


If George W. Bush had used a forged document as the basis of the moratorium that would render 87000 American workers unemployed would you support him?



If George W. Bush had been the first President to need a TelePrompTer installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes?



If George W. Bush had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take Laura Bush to a play in NYC, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had reduced your retirement plan's holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved?


If George W. Bush had given the Queen of England an I-Pod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought this embarrassingly narcissistic and tacky?

If George W. Bush had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, would you have approved?

If George W. Bush had visited Austria and made reference to the nonexistent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip?

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved?



If George W. Bush had stated that there were 57 states in the United States, would you have said that he is clueless.



If George W. Bush would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in Texas, would you have thought he was a self important, conceited, egotistical jerk.



If George W. Bush had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, would you have winced in embarrassment?



If George W. Bush had misspelled the word "advice" would you have hammered him for it for years like Dan Quayle and potatoes as proof of what a dunce he is?

If George W. Bush had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?

If George W. Bush's administration had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11?



If George W. Bush had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence?

If George W. Bush had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have approved.

If George W. Bush had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved?



If George W. Bush had pronounced the Marine Corps like Marine Corpse would you think him an idiot?




So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 24 months -- so you'll have one year and ten months to come up with an answer.



Every statement in this email is factual and directly attributable to Barrack Hussein Obama. Every bumble is a matter of record and completely verifiable.


---------------------

Hurricane season is here again !

Black hurricanes....


Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something
else to be pissed about. A
black congresswoman (this would be Sheila Jackson Lee, of Houston ),
reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian
sounding names.

She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such
as Chamiqua,Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. I am NOT making this
up!

She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in 'language'
that street people can understand because one of the problems that
happened in New Orleans was, that black people couldn't understand the
seriousness of the situation, due to the racially biased language of the
weather report.

I guess if the weather person says that the winds are going to blow at
140+ MPH, that's too hard to understand!!

I can hear it now: A weatherman in New Orleans says...
Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like
Leroy on a crotch rocket!
Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren,
leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest FEMA office fo yo FREE sh_t.

Insert mo


------------------------------------------------- --
got my stimulus
I got my stimulus package in the Mail today.
>
> It contained:
>
> 1) Watermelon seeds
> 2) Cornbread mix
> 3) Ten coupons to KFC...
>
> Have you gotten yours yet?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
loud rumble

If you hear a "loud rumble" tonite in the sky, don't worry. It's not thunder. It's Elvis beatin' the shit out of Micheal Jackson for marrying his daughter.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
South Dakota
I-90 will be closed across the state of South Dakota starting April 3
at 9:00 PM CST and will remained closed until April 5 at 9:00 AM CST.
The South Dakota DOT will be transporting a 200 ton block of coal to
Mt. Rushmore so that Obama can be added to the monument.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF OUR GOVERNMENT REALLY WANTS TO KEEP CLASIFIED SECRETS ...SECRET , THEY SHOULD BE KEPT IN THE SAME PLACE THAT OBAMA'S COLLEGE TRANSCRIPTS AND BIRTH CERTIFICATE ARE KEPT.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Let's Recap--OBAMA

1, The American people elect a black president with a total of 42 days
experience as a U S Senator from the most politically corrupt state in
America, whose governor is ousted from office. The President's first
official act is to close Gitmo and make sure terrorists civil rights
are not violated.

2, The U.S. Congress rushes to confirm a black Attorney General, Eric
Holder, whose law firm we later find out represents seventeen Gitmo
Terrorists.

3, The CIA Boss, Leon Penetta with absolutely no experience, has a
daughter Linda we find out, that is a true radical anti-American
activist who is a supporter of all the Anti-American regimes in the
western hemisphere.

4. We got the most corrupt female in America as Secretary of State;
bought and paid for.

5. We got a Tax Cheat for Treasury Secretary who files his own taxes.

6. A Commerce Secretary nominee who withdrew due to corruption charges.

7. A Tax cheat nominee for Chief Performance Officer who withdrew under charges.

8. A Labor Secy nominee who withdrew under charges of unethical conduct.

9. A Sec'y. HHS nominee who withdrew under charges of cheating on his
taxes. And that's just the first two weeks. . . but who's counting.

America is being run by the modern-day Three Stooges ~ Barrack, Nancy
, and Harry ~ and they are still trying to define stimulus.

Stimulus is where the government gives a smidgen of your tax dollars
back to you making you feel so good about yourself [stimulated] that
you want to run out to Wal-Mart and buy a new Chinese-made HDTV and go
home and watch Telemundo!

AND AFTER George W. Bush ALL THIS LOOKS GOOD
----------------------------------------
Thus endith the lesson - Bubba !

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job.

Depression is when you lose your job too.

And recovery is when George W. Bush lost his.
----------------------------------------
Maersk Alabama

> The U.S. Navy has stated that the Navy Seals could have acted faster
> and rescued the Captain of the Maersk Alabama sooner, but had to wait
> until the White House could confirm that none of the pirates were
> related to Obama.
----------------------------------------
you have heard
I guess you have heard Obama will be making no more public speeches in Texas ? He claims every time he gets up on stage, and gets behind the podium to make a speech, some damn West Texas cotton farmer starts bidding on him.
----------------------------------------
LIQUIDITY

definition:
Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants.
----------------------------------------
Redneck word of the year : "OBAMA"

I BOUGHT ME A CASE OF BEER AND DRANK IT OBAMA SELF!

----------------------------------------
2 Brazilian
The Dept Of Defense briefed the president this morning, they
told OBAMA that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's surprise, all the color drained from Obama's face.
Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, '
Just how many is a brazilian?'

----------------------------------------

Enjoy the weather.

Because almost every white person for 200+ years said.
"It will be a cold day in Hell, before a black man becomes
President."

--------------------------------------


Michelle Obama's
Some have said that the stimulus hasn't saved any jobs, but here is a case where at least one job was saved. Oregon State University Athletic Director Bob DeCarolis was considering firing their basketball coach, Craig Robinson, after an 8-11 start (2-5 in the Pac 10 conference). When word of this reachedWashington, Undersecretary of Education Martha Kanter was dispatched toCorvallis with $17 million in stimulus money for the university. Craig Robinson's job is safe for this year. For those of you unfamiliar with Coach Robinson, he just so happens to be Michelle Obama's brother. Just a coincidence I'm sure!

----------------------------------------
extraordinary advantage
Is Obama family being singled out or have all first families in the past taken extraordinary advantage of taxpayer dollars?
Michelle Obama Takes Girls to London for Fish and Chips

Truly change we can believe in --- or as was said during the campaign,

"We are the change we have been waiting for."

Imagine this --- and when do we get totally fed up?

A Boeing 757 and a fleet of armored cars for Michelle’s sight seeing tour!

Michelle One

On Sunday, President Obama flew back to the United States on Air Force One. His wife, two daughters and her mother did a bit of shopping in Paris before taking their own Boeing 757 (C-32) over to London to do some sight seeing.

We all remember Obama’s admonishment to corporate CEO’s in February:

“You can’t get corporate jets, you can’t go take a trip to Las Vegas or go down to the Super Bowl on the taxpayers dime.”

Apparently that doesn’t apply to his wife.

The London Times opened it’s description of Michelle’s visit this way:

Motorcycle outriders, armoured Chevrolets and bullet-headed men in raincoats criss-crossed London yesterday as Michelle Obama and her daughters spent a second day on an unofficial visit to the capital.

The Times went on to describe that when Michelle and the girls arrived at Westminster Abbey, the building was closed to tourists with people already in told to “wait against the wall.” An American visiting the Abbey said “Right then I knew it was probably someone from our ‘royal family’.”

Michelle’s motorcade shut down the London street above as the First Lady of the World and her children go for Fish and Chips at a pub in Mayfair . The entourage inside the restaurant was 15 people while dozens more wait outside. Include the dozens of Air Force personnel to fly and service the plane, embassy personnel and other staff and we are talking about a serious expenditure of tax payer dollars..

Meanwhile, millions of Americans have lost their jobs and won’t be able to take their family on a summer holiday. Despite their circumstances they’ll still be expected to fork over the tax dollars to pay for Michelle’s trip.

Tell your friends about this -- it's their money being spent!!


----------------------------------------
Australian Shooter Magazine
An interesting letter in the Australian Shooter Magazine this week, which I quote:

"If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq
theater of operations during the past 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths,

that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers.

The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000 for the same period.

That means you are about 25 percent more likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. capital,
which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the U.S., than you are in Iraq.

Conclusion: The U.S. should pull out of Washington."

----------------------------------------
We did it anyway Oklahoma

The state law passed today, 37 to 9, had a few liberals in the mix, an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values...! Guess what..........We did it anyway.

We recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from, unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. Hope we didn't send any of them to your state. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake. Guess what..........we did it anyway..

Yesterday we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegals to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Pelosi said it was unconstitutional. Guess what........We did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. That, for your information, makes Oklahoma and Texas the only states to do so. Guess what.........More states are likely to follow. Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, both Carolina's, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, just to name a few. Should Mississippi act, so will Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again.

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I'm sure that was a set back for the Kennedys and Ms Pelosi. Guess what..........We did it anyway.

By the way, Obama does not like any of this. Guess what....who cares...we're doing it anyway



----------------------------------------



The following is a narrative taken from a 2008 Sunday morning televised "Meet The Press'. The author (Dale Lindsborg) is employed by none other than the very liberal Washington Post!!
From Sunday's 07 Sept. 2008 11:48:04 EST, Televised "Meet the Press" THE THEN Senator Obama was asked about his stance on the American Flag.
General Bill Ginn' USAF (ret.) asked Obama to explain WHY he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played. The General stated to Obama that according to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171...During rendition of the national anthem, when the flag is displayed, all present (except those in uniform) are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. Or, at the very least, "Stand and Face It".
NOW GET THIS!! - - - - -
'Senator' Obama replied:
"As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides". "There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression.." "The anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all that sort of thing."
(ARE YOU READY FOR THIS???)
Obama continued: "The National Anthem should be 'swapped' for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing'. If that were our anthem, then, I might salute it. In my opinion, we should consider reinventing our National Anthem as well as 'redesign' our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love. It's my intention, if elected, to disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren. If we, as a Nation of waring people, conduct ourselves like the nations of Islam, where peace prevails - - - perhaps a state or period of mutual accord could exist between our governments."
“When I become President, I will seek a pact of agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity, and a freedom from disquieting oppressive thoughts. We as a Nation, have placed upon the nations of Islam, an unfair injustice which is WHY my wife disrespects the Flag and she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past".
"Of course now, I have found myself about to become the President of the United States and I have put my hatred aside. I will use my power to bring CHANGE to this Nation, and offer the people a new path.. My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country's First black Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America "

Yes, you read it right.
I, for one, am speechless!!!
Dale Lindsborg , Washington Post
----------------------------------------
explains Obamanomics


Trust me, you have to watch this one and I promise you'll end up smarter in just a minute and thirty-eight seconds.
Recently Obama announced that over the next 90-days he is going to work to cut 100-Million dollars of spending out of the Federal Budget.
A college student explains Obamanomics.
VERY well done!
Link

----------------------------------------


This is chilling ...


In
1952
President Truman

established one day a year as a
"National DAY of Prayer."


In
1988
resident Reagan
designated the
First Thursday in May of each year as
the National Day of Prayer.


In June
2007
(then)
Presidential
Candidate Barack Obama

declared that the USA Was no longer a
Christian nation.


This year
President Obama,
canceled the
21st annual National Day
of Prayer ceremony
at the White
House under the rouse
Of "not wanting to offend anyone"


On September 25, 2009
from 4 am until 7 pm,
a National Day of Prayer
for the Muslim religion was Held on Capitol Hill,
Beside the White House.
There were over 50,000 Muslims that
Day in DC.


I guess it Doesn't matter
if "Christians"
Are offended by this event -
We obviously
Don't count as
"anyone" Anymore.

The direction
This country is headed
Should strike fear in the heart of every Christian.
Especially knowing that the
Muslim religion believes that if Christians cannot be
Converted they should be Annihilated

This is not a Rumor –
Go to the website
To confirm this info:
( http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com/ )



Pay particular attention to the very bottom of the page:
"OUR TIME HAS COME"
I hope that this Information will stir your spirit.


The words of 2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, Who are called by my Name,
Will humble themselves And pray,
And seek my face, and Turn from their Wicked ways,
Then will I hear from Heaven
And will forgive their Sin and will heal Their land."

We must pray for Our nation, our communities,
Our families, and especially our children.
They are the ones that are going to suffer the most

If we don't PRAY!
May God have Mercy...
IN GOD WE TRUST.




Please pass this on,
Maybe someone, somehow can figure out a way to put America
back on the map as it was when we were growing up,
a safe place to live and by
The Ten Commandments and Pledge of Allegiance.


----------------------------------------


Politically Incorrect

Subject: Some might consider this politically incorrect...

In South Los Angeles, a three-family apartment was destroyed by a fire.

A Nigerian family of six lived on the first floor, and all six died in the
fire.

An Islamic family of seven lived on the second floor, and they, too, all
perished in the fire.

A white couple lived on the third floor. They both survived.

Jesse Jackson was furious. He demanded to know why the blacks and the
muslims died in the fire and only the white couple survived.

The fire chief said, 'Simple--- the white couple were both at work.'

----------------------------------------

gardener protested his innocence

It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House
has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to the many US
presidents.

When interviewed the gardener protested his innocence and said "All I
know is I was walking past the Oval Office and I asked, "Has anyone
seen the spade or the hoe."

The next thing I knew I was fired.

----------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------- ----------
don't understand this stimulus

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics
professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you
explain it to me?" *

*The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my
office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with

my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.*

*At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's
house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his
backyard pool.*

*They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the
student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor
said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as
much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.*

*The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and
then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was
naturally confused, but did as he was told.*

*The professor then explained they were going to do this many more
times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.*

*The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"*

*The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.*

*The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but
figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.*

*However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end,
the student began to become worried that his economics professor

had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting
valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when
this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was
before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of
what could have been truly productive action!"*

*The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile,
"Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."
------------------------------------------------- ----------
DAY IS DONE

Day is done.
Gone the sun.
From the lakes.
From the hills.
From the sky.
All is well.
Safely rest.
Good is the nigh.

Fading light.
Dims the sight.
And a star.
Gems the sky.
Gleaming bright.
From afar.
Drawing nigh.
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise.
For our days.
Neath the sun.
Neath the stars.
Neath the sky.
As we go.
This we know.
Good is the nigh.
------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------
WHY IS IT.......IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR......BUT IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, AND FREE HEALTH CARE? WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?????? -------------------
------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -------------------
One more nail in the coffin of the USA...



On Tue, Apr 26, 2011 at 9:43 AM, Gary Adams wrote:





Gentlemen, Veterans ALL – to me this is a national disgrace. Just how far will ‘they’ carry this PC business?



Sharpen your pencils gentlemen, fire up your computers, and contact your congressman.



Read this indictment PLEASE!!!



Rep Allen West & Rep Duncan D. Hunter slam Military Leadership Diversity Commission Report



Obama and the democrats at work behind closed doors. They won't rest until the degradation of our country/military is completed. In case you weren't aware of the Military Leadership Diversity Commission Report... interesting reading.



A 31-member Military Leadership Diversity Commission, set up by Pelosi's Lame Duck Congress a year ago, requested that the Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, execute a "social experiment on diversity"; the goal of the recommendations is to change the make-up of the leadership of the US Armed Forces. The Commission contains a sizable number of civilian-equal opportunity professionals, as well as some retired and active military personnel.



Because ethnic minorities are less likely to meet eligibility requirements for entrance into the US Armed Forces, the Commission is urging the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force to either lower or eliminate the standards that have always been used for acceptance of recruits into the military. The Commission proposal states education, entry test level scores, criminal records, and drug use that up to this time have been used to disqualify a large numbers of applicants, including some minorities and all felons, unfair and should be eliminated.



The commission completed a 162-page report and strongly recommended that the Secretary of Defense and the Congress endorse the proposals, that they act to execute the Commission's "social experiment on diversity."



The Commission wants Secretary Gates to appoint a "Diversity Czar" who will bypass the Congress on all future matters concerning their proposed "social experiment on diversity" and that in the future the Diversity Czar be permitted to by-pass Congress and report directly to the Defense Secretary.



Another of the many recommendations is that at confirmation, all future flag officer selectees be required to demonstrate to the Senate Armed Services Committee that they have a rich background in promoting the "social experiment on diversity"; future promotions to flag would no longer be based upon what senior officers are best qualified to lead military personnel into combat and/or would be most effective at improving their command's "Combat Effectiveness."



While the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs is driving the current aggressive indoctrination of the US Armed Forces, in order to turn the US Military into an openly homosexual organization, the Military Leadership Diversity Commission is pressing the Pentagon to make additional destabilizing changes to the US Armed Forces in the midst of three theatres of armed conflict. Among the many initiatives in its study, is a recommendation to open infantry and armor units to women; the study said that women should be allowed into male-only units to "create a level playing field" in promotions "for all service members who meet the qualifications."



Hardened Combat Veterans say that "direct ground combat" is not like an MP being subjected to exchange of small-arms gunfire with insurgents, or of military personnel being wounded by an IEDs when transiting in a convoy, or a service member being abducted by terrorists while on patrols or on guard duty. There is a true lack of understanding of exactly what direct ground combat entails, what closing with and destroying an enemy combatant by the most violent means available is; often it is a direct eye-to-eye confrontation, then being required to employ upper-body physical strength that physically fit US Marines, US Army Rangers, or US Navy SEALs train for. Direct ground combat is defined as an action when opposing forces engage in violent, intense, close-in, hand to hand combat. According to former Commandant of the US Marine Corps, General Carl Mundy, units which are trained repeatedly into fine-tuned teams to engage and defeat the enemy directly, exist and operate on the basis of masculine cohesion. "I believe that female service members bring tremendous skills and talents to many sectors of our armed forces, but I believe equally strongly that they are not best suited for the unique demands associated with direct combat units."



Congressman Allen West as well as Congressman Duncan D. Hunter, 2 of the 12 endorsed Combat Veteran For Congress who were elected in the 2010 mid-term election (out of the full slate of 27 endorsed candidates who won their primary elections), have already gone public on their view of the proposed "social experiment on diversity"; they feel the proposal is intrusive and inappropriate.



"This is the last thing the military should be thinking about," said Cong. Duncan D. Hunter, a member of the Armed Services Committee who saw combat in Iraq and Afghanistan as a US Marine Corps Officer. "Our military is engaged in a shooting war," the California Republican stated. "This is just another distraction that can't interfere with what's most important - winning in Afghanistan. Congressman Duncan added, "some people seem to think the military is a staging ground for social testing, and that attitude only puts lives at risk."



Congressman Allen West, a Florida Representative, who as a senior Army officer completed a 1 ? year combat tour of duty in Iraq, and a 2? year combat tour of duty in Afghanistan said, "The US Military is a merit based organization where anybody can succeed." Congressman West said the report "is a slap in the face to those minorities who have achieved seniority." In an interview with The Daily Caller, Congressman West, who is black, was not pleased with the report, and said that the military is not a social experiment for outside groups to impose their theories.



The US Naval Academy Admissions Office now openly practices the "social experiment of diversity." The Naval Academy Admissions Board now admits student with SAT scores in math as low as 410 and verbal scores as low as 370; the SAT score cut off for Midshipmen had normally been around 600 out of a possible 800 score.



A former Admission Board Member agreed to make the following statement on conditions of anonymity; he said " The unfairness is absolutely real." The "social experiment on diversity" has been driven by the Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staff's and the CNO since their appointments, and has resulted in the admittance of marginal students, mostly athletes and minorities, while by-passing fully qualified white students in the pool of 15,000 applicants annually. The results of the admittance of marginal students has been an increase in serious violations of regulations such as drug use (resulting in multiple dismissals), excessive use of liquor and inebriation on weekend liberty, increased violations of the Honor Code requiring retraining to retain minority students (as a former member of the Honor Committee there was no such thing as honor retraining; Midshipmen do not lie, cheat, or steal) and recently, one Midshipman lied to a law enforcement officer when in custody for a federal offense.



The Brigade of Midshipmen have been negatively affected by the "social experiment of diversity," and now the US Armed forces will be subjected to that same experiment during a wartime environment. The Supreme Court has ruled that admission procedures at institutions of higher education that consider percentages of race and gender as a consideration for selecting and making up an entering freshman class is discriminatory and those actions by a college Admissions Board are a violation of federal law.



The "social experiment on diversity" imposed on the Brigade at the US Naval Academy, pushing an openly homosexual environment on the US Armed Forces, and now the proposal by the Military Leadership Diversity Committee have all put the US Military is under unreasonable destabilizing pressure. The proposal by the Commission to select future flag officers of the US Armed Forces using some type of litmus test on diversity will not improve the "Combat Effectiveness" of the US Military.



By recommending that senior military officers only be selected for flag if they pass a test on diversity, and considering their race and gender by some percentages, will not result in the promotion of the most qualified senior officers who would improve the "Combat Effectiveness" of the US Armed Force (there will be no more Admiral Bull Halseys, General Pattons, General Chesty Pullers, General Jimmy Doolittles, etc., because they would not be "politically correct" selectees).



The American people are unaware of the aforementioned coordinated assaults on the most effective and professional military force in the world, they are not aware that the agenda that is being driven by socialists and liberals who oppose the US Armed Forces high standards of duty, honor, country, and its support for the Judeo-Christian religions is hurting the stability of the force. Those coordinated assaults by progressives, pushing a "social experiment on diversity", will weaken the US Military over the long term.



The actions of outside forces supported by the Obama Administration are continuing to push the above listed changes that are marginalizing the "Combat Effectiveness" of the US Armed Forces. The US Military has protected and defended the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Republic for 234 years, experimenting with the structure and make-up of the US Military organization and assaulting its leadership structure will destabilize the US Armed Forces. We must rely on the judgment of the 12 elected Combat Veterans For Congress and other C0ngressmen to coordinate their efforts to halt the above listed dangerous experiments with the US Armed Forces.






--
Mike Carey
USMC (Ret)

Thomas Jefferson: "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The North and South


The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, the South has craw fish.

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.


-------------------------------------------

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . .


In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.

Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain

will be along shortly.

Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.

This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait

in the same store....

do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural,

and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease.

You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding

what people are saying.

They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep

into a transplanted Northerner's

vocabulary is the adjective

'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy.

Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced

dialect this way.

All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school

is no longer proper!

Be advised that 'He needed killin.'

is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim,

'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way.

These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the

slightest chance of even the

smallest accumulation of snow,

your presence is required at the

local grocery store.

It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not.

You just have to go there.


Do not be surprised to find that

10-year olds own their own shotguns,

they are proficient marksmen,

and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way

to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel

on it and call it a driveway.


AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners.

After all,

if the cat had kittens

in the oven,

we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.


Send this to four people that ain't related to you,

and I reckon your life will turn into

a country music song 'fore you know it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Ten Commandments

Some people have trouble with all those 'shall's' and 'shall not's' in the Ten Commandments.
Folks just aren't used to talking in those terms. So!!!!

(1) Just one God
(2) Put nothin' before him
(3) Watch yer mouth
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'
(5) Honor yer Ma & Pa
(6) No killin others'
(7) No foolin' around with another buddy's gal
(8) Don't take what ain't yers
(9) No tellin' tales or gossipin'
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff

Now that's plain an' simple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

----------
Middle Age Texting Codes
ATD = at the doctor

BFF = best friend fell

BTW = bring the wheelchair

BYOT = bring your own teeth

FWIW = forgot where I was

GGPBL = gotta go, pacemaker battery low

GHA = got heartburn again

IMHO = is my hearing aid on?

LMDO = laughing my dentures out

OMMR = on my massage recliner

ROFLACGU = rolling on floor laughing and can't get up




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




IF GOD TEXT THE TEN COMMANDMENTS


1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg's

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun 18r)

5. pos ok - ur- m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-x only w/ 8m

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob



-------------------------------------------

Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented
immigrant' is like
calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed
pharmacist'

----------------------------------------

Did you know:



A. That the words "race car" spelled backward still spell "race car"?



B. That "eat" is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?



C. And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants" and add just a few more letters, it spells out: "Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, kid-producing, violent, non-English speaking assholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, goat-loving, raggedy-ass bastards with you"?



How weird is that ???


----------------------------------------

The Blue Pigeon.

The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons in Phoenix .

He could not remove the pigeons from the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop, the people of Phoenix could not walk on the sidewalks, or drive on the roads.

It was costing a fortune to keep the streets and sidewalks clean.

One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.

'I can rid your beautiful city of its plague of pigeons without any cost to the city. But, you must promise not to ask me any questions.
Or, you can pay me one million dollars to ask one question.'

The mayor considered the offer briefly and accepted the free proposition.

The next day the man climbed to the top of City Hall, opened his coat, and re leased a blue pigeon. The blue pigeon circled in the air and flew up into the bright blue Arizona sky.

All the pigeons in Phoenix saw the blue pigeon and gathered up in the air behind the blue pigeon. The Phoenix pigeons followed the blue pigeon as she flew southward out of the city.

The next day the blue pigeon returned completely alone to the man atop City Hall.

The Mayor was very impressed.. He felt the man and the blue pigeon had performed a wonderful miraculous feat to rid Phoenix of the plague of pigeons. Even though the man with the pigeon had charged nothing, the mayor presented him with a check for 1 million dollars and told the man that, indeed, he did have a question to ask and even though they had agreed to no fee and the man had rid the city of pigeons, he decided to pay the 1 million just to get to ask ONE question.

The man accepted the money and told the mayor to ask his ONE question.



'Do you have a blue Mexican?'

----------------------------------------



- Thomas Jefferson
Link
Link
Thomas Jefferson was strongly anti-federalist. While he might have written the Declaration of Independence, he definitely did not author the Constitution. Instead, that document was mainly written by James Madison. Jefferson spoke against a strong federal government and instead advocated states' rights. He feared tyranny of any kind and only recognized the need for a strong, central government in terms of foreign affairs.

" A
government big enough to give you everything you want, is big
enough to take away everything you
have "

Thomas
Jefferson


Especially read the last quote from 1802.




When we get piled
upon one another in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe .
Thomas Jefferson


The democracy will cease to exist
when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson


It is incumbent on every
generation to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would save
one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson


I predict future happiness for
Americans if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people under the
pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson


My reading of history convinces me
that most bad government results from too much
government.
Thomas Jefferson


No free man shall ever be debarred
the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson


The strongest reason for the
people to retain the right to keep and bear arms
is, as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson


The tree of liberty must be
refreshed from time to time with the blood of
patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson


To compel a man to subsidize with
his taxes the propagation of ideas which he
disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

Thomas Jefferson


Thomas Jefferson said in 1802 :
'I believe that
banking institutions are more dangerous to
our liberties than standing armies .
If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue of their
currency, first by inflation, then by
deflation, the banks and corporations that will
grow up around the banks will deprive the people
of all property - until their children
wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered.'





I WISH WE COULD GET THIS OUT TO EVERYONE!!!





GOD BLESS


------------------------------------------------- ----------

"The beauty of the second amendment is that
it will not be needed until they try to take it."
~~ Thomas Jefferson ~~
------------------------------------------------- ----------

------------------------------------------------- ----------

How much time is left for the USA ?

I have always heard about this democracy countdown.. It
is interesting to see it in print.


How Long Do We Have?

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their
new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a
Scottish history professor at the
University of Edinburgh
, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian
Republic
some 2,000 years
earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply
cannot exist as a permanent form of
government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time
that voters discover they can vote themselves
generous gifts from the public
treasury.'

' From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. '


'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations
from the beginning of history, has been about 200
years'


'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed
through the following
sequence:

1.from bondage to spiritual
faith;


2.from spiritual faith to great
courage;


3.from courage to
liberty;



4.from liberty to
abundance;


5.from abundance to
complacency;


6.from complacency to
apathy;


7.from apathy to
dependence;


8.from dependence back into
bondage'


Professor Joseph Olson of Hemline University
School of Law, St. Paul , Minnesota
points out some interesting facts concerning the 2008 Presidential election:


Number of States won by:
Democrats: 19
Republicans: 29




Square miles of land won by:
Democrats: 580,000
Republicans: 2,427,000



Population of counties won by:
Democrats: 127 million
Republicans: 143 million




Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Democrats: 13.2
Republicans: 2.1



Professor Olson adds: 'In aggregate, the map of the territory
Republican won was mostly the land owned by the
taxpaying citizens of this great country. Democrat
territory mostly encompassed those citizens living
in government-owned tenements and living off various
forms of government welfare...' Olson believes the
United States
is somewhere between the 'complacency and
apathy' phase of Professor Tyler's definition of
democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's
population already having reached the 'governmental
dependency' phase.




If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty
million criminal invaders called illegals and they
vote, then we can say goodbye to the
USA in fewer than five years.



If you are in favor of this , then by all means, delete
this message. If you are not, then pass this along
to help everyone realize just how much is at stake,
knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our
freedom.
------------------------------------------------- ----------
An idea whose time has come
For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they didn't pay into Social Security, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest is to exempt themselves from the Healthcare Reform that is being considered...in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law. I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop. This is a good way to do that. It is an idea whose time has come.


Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution
"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States ."


------------------------------------------------- ----------
------------------------------------------------- ----------

HOW LONG DOES THE USA HAVE?*

This is the most interesting thing I've read in a long time. The sad thing about it, you can see it coming.I have always heard about this democracy countdown. It is interesting to see it in print. God help us, not that we deserve it.
How Long Do We Have?
About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot
exist as a permanent form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that
politicians discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'*

'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the
candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury,
with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years'
'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:*

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;

2. From spiritual faith to great courage;

3. From courage to liberty;

4. From liberty to abundance;

5. From abundance to complacency;

6. From complacency to apathy;

7. From apathy to dependence;

8. From dependence back into bondage'

Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the 'complacency and apathy' phase of
Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty
percent of the nation's population already having reached the'governmental dependency' phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million
criminal invaders called illegal and they vote, then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than four years.

If you are in favor of this then disregard this message if you are not then copy and Pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.*


------------------------------------------------- ----------


"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. Your cousin is president of the United States

------------------------------------------------- ---------

------------------------------------------------- ----------
The Muslim Version of Adam & Eve

------------------------------------------------- ----------

WHAT I USE TO PUT IN THE BANK
NOW GO'S IN THE TANK !!!

------------------------------------------------- ----------
IT'S TIME TO OFFEND EVERYONE

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their blonde, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna' believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States .
------------------------------------------------- ----------
THE COUNTRY OF TEXAS

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union. (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.)

We Texans love y'all, but we'll probably have to take action since B. Hussein Obama won the election. We'll miss you too.

Here is what can happen:

#1: Barack Hussein Obama becomes President of the United States, Texas immediately secedes from the Union.

#2: Ross Perot will become the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry--we have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - again we have all we need and it's too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry will have to figure out a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications--small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Miconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Medical Care - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. Dallas and Houston have some of the best hospitals in the United States .

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston , Baylor, UNT (University of North Texas), Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.

9. We have a ready supply of workers. We could just open the border when we need some more.

10. We have essential control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over Chuck Norris and a couple of Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let's not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama:
Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 9 mpg SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications.
You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.

Signed, The People of Texas

P.S. This is not a threatening letter - just a note to give you something to think about!
------------------------------------------------- ----------
SHARE THESE TIPS WITH OTHERS!

WHERE TO BUY USA GAS, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW. READ ON

The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should return the favor.

An interesting thought is to boycott their GAS.
YOU CAN DO THIS AND STILL DRIVE !!!!!
Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.

Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.

I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil.

These companies import Middle Eastern oil:

Shell........................... 205,742,000 barrels

Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels

Exxon /Mobil................. 130,082,000 barrels

Marathon/Speedway.... 117,740,000 barrels

Amoco.............................62,231,000 barrels

Citgo gas is from South America, from a Dictator who hates Americans. If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports amount to over $18 BILLION! (oil is now $90 - $100 a barrel

Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:

Sunoco...........0 barrels

Conoco...........0 barrels

Sinclair...........0 barrels

B P(British Petroleum)/Phillips.....0 barrels (how about a A P American Petroleum)

Hess...............0 barrels

ARC0...............0 barrels

-------------------------------------------

--------------Oil Shortage----------

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical..
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
Alaska
~~~
California
~~~
Texas
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania and
~~~
Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington, DC !!!

-------------------------------------------

OUR REAL ROOTS:


Did you know that 52 of the 55 signers of The
Declaration of Independence
were orthodox, deeply committed Christians? The
other three all believed in
the Bible as the divine truth, the God of scripture,
and His personal
intervention.

It is the same congress that formed the American
Bible Society. Immediately
after creating the Declaration of Independence, the
Continental Congress
voted to purchase and import 20,000 copies of
scripture for the people of
this nation.

Patrick Henry, who is called the firebrand of the
American Revolution, is
still remembered for his words, 'Give me liberty or
give me death.' But in
current textbooks the context of these words is
deleted. Here is what he
said: 'An appeal to arms and the God of hosts is all
that is left us. But we
shall not fight our battle alone. There is a just
God that presides over the
destinies of nations. The battle sir, is not of the
strong alone. Is life so
dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the
price of chains and
slavery? Forbid it almighty God. I know not what
course others may take, but
as for me, give me liberty, or give me death.'
These sentences have been erased from our textbooks.

Was Patrick Henry a Christian? The following year,
1776, he wrote this 'It
cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that
this great nation was
founded not by religionists, but by Christians; not
on religion, but on the
Gospel of Jesus Christ. For that reason alone,
people of other faiths have
been afforded freedom of worship here.'

Consider these words that Thomas Jefferson wrote on
the front of his well-
worn Bible: 'I am a Christian, that is to say a
disciple of the doctrines of
Jesus. I have little doubt that our whole country
will soon be rallied to
the unity of our Creator and, I hope, to the pure
doctrine of Jesus also.'

Consider these words from George Washington, the
Father of our Nation, in
his farewell speech on September 19, 1796:

'It is impossible to govern the world without God
and the Bible. Of all the
dispositions and habits that lead to political
prosperity, our religion and
morality are the indispensable supporters. Let us
with caution indulge the
supposition that morality can be maintained without
religion. Reason and
experience both forbid us to expect that our
national morality can prevail
in exclusion of religious principle.'

Was George Washington a Christian? Consider these
words from his personal
prayer book: 'Oh, eternal and everlasting God,
direct my thoughts, words and
work. Wash away my sins in the immaculate blood of
the lamb and purge my
heart by the Holy Spirit. Daily, frame me more and
more in the likeness of
thy son, Jesus Christ, that living in thy fear, and
dying in thy favor, I
may in thy appointed time obtain the resurrection of
the justified unto
eternal life. Bless, O Lord, the whole race of
mankind and let the world be
filled with the knowledge of thy son, Jesus Christ.'

Consider these words by John Adams, our second
president, who also served as
chairman of the American Bible Society.

In an address to military leaders he said, 'We have
no government armed with
the power capable of contending with human passions,
unbridled by morality
and true religion. Our constitution was made only
for a moral and religious
people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of
any other.'
How about our first Court Justice, John Jay?

He stated that when we select our national leaders,
if we are to preserve
our Nation, we must select Christians. '
Providence has given to our
people the choice of their rulers and it is the duty
as well as the
privilege and interest of our Christian Nation to
select and prefer
Christians for their rulers.'
John Quincy Adams, son of John Adams, was the sixth
U.S. President.

He was also the chairman of the American Bible
Society, which he considered
his highest and most important role. On July 4,
1821, President Adams said,
'The highest glory of the American Revolution was
this: it connected in one
indissoluble bond the principles of civil government
with the principles of
Christianity.'

Calvin Coolidge, our 30th President of the United
States reaffirmed this
truth when he wrote, 'The foundations of our society
and our government rest
so much on the teachings of the Bible that it would
be difficult to support
them if faith in these teachings would cease to be
practically universal in
our country.'

In 1782, the United States Congress voted this
resolution: 'The congress of
the United States recommends and approves the Holy
Bible for use in all schools.'

William Holmes McGuffey is the author of the
McGuffey Reader, which was used
for over 100 years in our public schools with over
125 million copies sold
until it was stopped in 1963. President Lincoln
called him the 'Schoolmaster
of the Nation.'

Listen to these words of Mr. McGuffey: 'The
Christian religion is the
religion of our country. From it are derived our
notions on character of God, on the great moral Governor of the universe. On
its doctrines are
founded the peculiarities of our free institutions.
From no source has the
author drawn more conspicuously than from the sacred
Scriptures. From all
these extracts from the Bible I make no apology.'

Of the first 108 universities founded in America ,
106 were distinctly
Christian, including the first.

Harvard University , chartered in 1636. In the
original Harvard Student
Handbook rule number 1 was that students seeking
entrance must know Latin
and Greek so that they could study the scriptures:

'Let every student be plainly instructed and
earnestly pressed to consider
well, the main end of his life and studies is, to
know God and Jesus Christ,
which is eternal life, John 17:3; and therefore to
lay Jesus Christ as the
only foundation of all sound knowledge and learning.
And seeing the Lord
only giveth wisdom, let everyone seriously set
himself by prayer in secret
to seek it of him (Proverbs 2:3).'
For over 100 years, more than 50% of all Harvard
graduates were pastors.

It is clear from history that the Bible and the
Christian faith, were
foundational in our educational and judicial system.
However in 1947, there
was a radical change of direction in the Supreme Court.

Here is the prayer that was banished:
'Almighty God, we acknowledge our dependence on
Thee. We beg Thy blessings
upon us and our parents and our teachers and our
country.
Amen.'
In 1963, the Supreme Court ruled that Bible
reading was outlawed as
unconstitutional in the public school system. The
court offered this
justification: 'If portions of the New Testament
were read without
explanation, they could and have been
psychologically harmful to children.'

Bible reading was now unconstitutional , though the
Bible was quoted 94
percent of the time by those who wrote our
constitution and shaped our
Nation and its system of education and justice and
government.

In 1965, the Courts denied as unconstitutional the
rights of a student in
the public school cafeteria to bow his head and pray
audibly for his food.
In 1980, Stone vs. Graham outlawed the Ten
Commandments in our public
schools.

The Supreme Court said this: 'If the posted copies
of the Ten Commandments
were to have any effect at all, it would be to
induce school children to
read them. And if they read them, meditated upon
them, and perhaps venerated
and observed them, this is not a permissible
objective.'
Is it not a permissible objective to allow our
children to follow the moral
principles of the Ten Commandments?

James Madison, the primary author of the
Constitution of the United States ,
said this: 'We have staked the whole future of our
new nation, not upon the
power of government; far from it. We have staked the
future of all our
political constitutions upon the capacity of each of
ourselves to govern
ourselves according to the moral principles of the
Ten Commandments.'
Today we are asking God to bless America . But how
can He bless a Nation
that has departed so far from Him?

Most of what you read in this article has been
erased from our textbooks.
Revisionists have rewritten history to remove the
truth about our country's
Christian roots. I , Mary Jones, the designer of
this web page, encourage
all who read and agree with the words herein, to
share it with others, so
that the truth of our nation's history may be told.


------------------------------------------------- ----------



>
> What Is A Veteran?
>
> A "Veteran" -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve --
> is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made
> payable to "The United States of America," for an amount of "up to,
> and including his life."
>
> That is honor, and there are way too many people in this country
> today, who no longer understand that fact.



------------------------------------------------- ----------

WE THE UNITED STATES ARE ONLY 5% OF THE WORLD POPULATION
BUT WE HAVE 75% OF THE WORLD LAWYERS
WE ARE A COUNTRY OF LAWS
SO HOW CAN WE BE FREE ??
AND WITH 40,000 NEW LAWS THIS YEAR
IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER !!!
------------------------------------------------- ----------

What is a 'Billion'?

Now here's a reality check!


This is too true to be very funny

The next time you hear a politician use the Word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.


A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at some poetry


Tax his land,
Tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirts,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
Tax his tears.
Tax his bills,
Tax his gas,
Tax his notes,
Tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers,
Tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom!'
And when he's gone,
We won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!

WHAT CAN I SAY IT'S NOT THAT GRAND

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Perm it Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax),
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax),
Liquor Tax,
Luxury Tax,
Marriage License Tax,
Medicare Tax,
Property Tax,
Real Estate Tax,
Service charge taxes,
Social Security Tax,
Road Usage Tax (Truckers),
Sales Taxes,
Recreational Vehicle Tax,
School Tax,
State Income Tax,
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA),
Telephone Federal Excise Tax,
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax,
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax,
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax,
Telephone State and Local Tax,
Telephone Usage Charge Tax,
Utility Tax,
Vehicle License Registration Tax,
Vehicle Sales Tax,
Watercraft Registration Tax,
Well Permit Tax,
Workers Compensation Tax.

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and
Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians!'

I know we call it progress
at what a cost and now the
cost is going to be life.

And I still have to 'press
1' for English.

I hope this goes around the
USA at least 100 times

What the heck happened?????



------------------------------------------------- ----------



Vote
Read this slowly, let it sink in, VOTE in November The article below is completely neutral, not anti republican or democrat. Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel has hit the nail directly on the head, defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day.

It's a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!
545 vs. 300,000,000

EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS scriptED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.

Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.

545 PEOPLE -- By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations.. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton- picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.... . The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace
545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ. If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees. We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it......... Is up to you.

Sales Tax
School Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Excise Taxes
Property Tax
Cigarette Tax
Medicare Tax
Inventory Tax
Real Estate Tax
Well Permit Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Inheritance Tax
Road Usage Tax
CDL license Tax
Dog License Tax
State Income Tax
Food License Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Gross Receipts Tax
Social Security Tax
Service Charge Tax
Fishing License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Building Permit Tax
Building Permit Tax
IRS Interest Charges
Hunting License Tax
Marriage License Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Personal Property Tax
Accounts Receivable Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Utility Taxes Vehicle License Registration TaxTelephone State and Local Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened? Can you spell 'politicians? ' I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!! YOU can help it get there!!! GO AHEAD - - - BE AN AMERICAN!!!

------------------------------------------------- ----------

------------------------------------------------- ----------
------------------------------------------------- ----------


Actual 'Letter to the Editor' from the February 5th edition of the
Wichita Falls , Texas Times Record News...

Dear IRS,

I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost.

I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable ta x, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog licence tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting licence tax, fishing licence tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle licence registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can't recall but I have run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.

Ed Barnett

Wichita Falls
------------------------------------------------- ----------
redneck jokes

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Ya'll know who ya' are.
------------------------------------------------- ----------






YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

I Am the Democratic Liberal-Progressive's Worst Nightmare.
I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, American Veteran, Gun Owning Biker.
I am a Master leatherworker. I work hard and long hours with my hands to earn a living.

I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and drive American-made cars, and I believe in American products and buy them whenever I can.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some liberal governmental functionary,Democratic or Republican, that wants to share it with others who don't work!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English.
I believe there should be no other language option.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

My heroes are Malcolm Forbes, Bill Gates, John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.

I've never owned a slave, nor was I a slave. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you!

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!

This is AMERICA ...We like it the way it is and more so the way it was ...so stop trying to change it to look like Russia or China , or some other socialist country!

If you were born here and don't like it... You are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. (And take Barack Hussein Obama and his group with you.) Massachusetts started the ball rolling. Keep it going.

I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the White House, the seat of our biggest problems.

I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution?

Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are, but not just because you happen to ride a bike.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good.... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money..

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause.... Get a job and do your part to support yourself and your family!

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents....

I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think!

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know....

We want our country back!
My Country.....
I hope this offends all illegal aliens.

My great, great, great, great grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in the Revolution & the War of 1812. My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Mexican American War. My great, great grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Civil War. My great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Spanish-American War. My grandfather watched as his friends died in WW I. My father watched as his friends died in WW II.

I watched as my friends died in Vietnam , Panama & Desert Storm. My son watched & bled as his friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq . None of them died for the Mexican Flag. Everyone died for the American flag.

Texas high school students raised a Mexican flag on a school flag pole, other students took it down. Guess who was expelled...the students who took it down.

California high school students were sent home on Cinco de Mayo, because they wore T-shirts with the American flag printed on them.

Enough is enough

This message needs to be viewed by every American; and every American needs to stand up for America .

We've bent over to appease the America-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand.

I'm standing up because the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the American flag.

If you agree, stand up with me. If you disagree, please let me know. I will gladly remove you from my e-mail list.

And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message.

AMERICANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS !

Let me make this clear! THIS IS MY COUNTRY !

This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration !

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally:

1. Get a sponsor !

2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past !

3. Live by OUR rules !

4. Get a job !

5. Pay YOUR Taxes !

6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it !

7. NOW find a place to lay your head !

If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !

We've gone so far the other way . . . bent over backwards not to offend anyone.

Only AMERICANS seems to care when American Citizens are being offended !

WAKE UP America ! ! !

If you do not Pass this on, may your fingers cramp !

------------------------------------------------- ----------
BE PROUD TO BE WHITE


This is great. I have been wondering about why Whites are racists, and no other race is.......

Proud to be White

Michael Richards makes his point............... Michael Richards better known as Kramer from TVs Seinfeld does make a good point.

This was his defense speech in court after making racial comments in his comedy act. He makes some very interesting points...

Someone finally said it. How many are actually paying attention to this? There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans, Arab Americans, etc.

And then there are just Americans. You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction. You call me 'White boy,' 'Cracker,' 'Honkey,' 'Whitey,' 'Caveman'... and that's OK..

But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink .. You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you.... so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King Day.

You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day.

You have Yom Hashoah. You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.

You have the NAACP. You have BET.... If we had WET (White Entertainment Television), we'd be racists. If we had a White Pride Day, you would call us racists.

If we had White History Month, we'd be racists.

If we had any organization for only whites to 'advance' OUR lives, we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce. Wonder who pays for that??

A white woman could not be in the Miss Black American pageant, but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships... You know we'd be racists...

There are over 60 openly proclaimed Black Colleges in the US .. Yet if there were 'White colleges', that would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists...

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist....

I am proud... But you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists??

There is nothing improper about this statement.. Let's see which of you are proud enough to bring it on.. I sadly don't think many will. That's why we have LOST most of OUR RIGHTS in this country. We won't stand up for ourselves!

BE PROUD TO BE WHITE!

It's not a crime YET... but getting very close!
------------------------------------------------- ----------
Retribution is less than 1 year away!
REMEMBER 2010 IS AN
ELECTION YEAR!!!!
Take a look at this and just remember elections in November 2010.


U..S. House & Senate have voted themselves $4,700 and $5,300 raises.
They voted to NOT give you a S.S. Cost of living raise in 2010 and 2011.
Your Medicare premiums will go up $285.60 for the 2-years
You will not get the 3% COLA: $660/yr.
Your total 2-yr loss and cost is -$1,600 or -$3,200 for husband and wife.
Over these same 2-years each Congress person will get anadditional $10,000
Do you feel SCREWED YET?
Will they have your cost of drugs - doctor fees - local taxes - food, etc., decrease? NO WAY!!. Congress and all Federal Employees received a raise and have better health and retirement benefits than you or I will ever have!!! AT NO COST TO THEM!!!!! (YOUR TAXES PAY FOR IT ALL)
Why should they care about you?
You never did anything about it in the past.
They think you are too stupid or don't care.

Send this message to those individuals --- YOU'RE FIRED!

In 2010 you will have a chance to get rid of the sitting Congress: up to 1/3 of the Senate and 100% of the House!
Make sure you're still mad in November 2010 and remind their replacements not to screw-up.
It is ok to forward this to your sphere of influence if you are finally tired of the abuse. Maybe it's time for Amendment 28 to the Constitution..
28th Amendment will be as follows:
"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators or Representatives, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .."

Let's get this passed around, folks - these people in Washington have brought this upon themselves! It's time for retribution. Let's take back America ...
------------------------------------------------- ----------
By Patrick J. Buchanan

Barack says we need to have a conversation about race in America . Fair enough. But this time, it has to be a two-way conversation. White America needs to be heard from, not just lectured to... This time, the Silent Majority needs to have its convictions, grievances and demands heard. And among them are these:

First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known. Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.

Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the '2060s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream. Governments, businesses and colleges have engaged in discrimination against white folks -- with affirmative action, contract set-asides and quotas -- to advance black applicants over white applicants. Churches, foundations, civic groups, schools and individuals all over America have donated their time and money to support soup kitchens, adult education, day care, retirement and nursing homes for blacks.

We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude???

Barack talks about new 'ladders of opportunity' for blacks. Let him go to Altoona ? And Johnstown , and ask the white kids in Catholic schools how many were visited lately by Ivy League recruiters handing out scholarships for 'deserving' white kids.? Is white America really responsible for the fact that the crime and incarceration rates for African-Americans are seven times those of white America ? Is it really white America 's fault that illegitimacy in the African-American community has hit 70 percent and the black dropout rate from high schools in some cities has reached 50 percent?

Is that the fault of white America or, first and foremost, a failure of the black community itself?

As for racism, its ugliest manifestation is in interracial crime, and especially interracial crimes of violence. Is Barack Obama aware that while white criminals choose black victims 3 percent of the time, black criminals choose white victims 45 percent of the time?

Is Barack aware that black-on-white rapes are 100 times more common than the reverse, that black-on-white robberies were 139 times as common in the first three years of this decade as the reverse?

We have all heard ad nauseam from the Rev. Al about Tawana Brawley, the Duke rape case and Jena . And all turned out to be hoaxes. But about the epidemic of black assaults on whites that are real, we hear nothing.

Sorry, Barack, some of us have heard it all before, about 40 years and 40 trillion20tax dollars ago.



We are a Christian Nation even if Mr. Obama says we are not.
This needs to be passed around because, this is a message everyone needs to hear!!!

------------------------------------------------- ----------


THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER
MARCH 5th, 2009



Last Thursday Night Around Midnight, A Woman
>From Houston Was Arrested And Charged With
Manslaughter For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back
As He Was Running Away With Her Purse.

The Following Monday Morning,
The Woman Was Called In Front Of The
Arraignment Judge, Sworn In,
And Asked To Explain Her Actions.

The Woman Replied, "I Was Standing
At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes,
Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work.
I Am A Waitress At A Nearby Cafe...

I Was There Alone, So I Had
My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My
Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder.

All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around
Hard To My Left. As I Caught My
Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away
With My Purse.

I Looked Down At My Right Hand
And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped
Tightly Around My Pistol.

The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud,
"No Way Punk! You're Not
Stealing My Pay Check And Tip Money."

I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed
My Pistol At The Man Running Away From
Me With My Purse, And Squeezed The Trigger
Of My Pistol 6 Times!

When Asked By The Arraignment Judge,
"Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times?

The Woman Replied Under Oath,
"Because, When I Pulled The Trigger
Of My Pistol The 7th Time,
It Only Went Click."

The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges.


Now that's Gun Control!

------------------------------------------------- ----------
Elvis Presley's Grilled Peanut Butter
and Banana Sandwich
•2 slices of white bread
•2 tablespoons of smooth peanut butter
•1 small ripe banana mashed
•2 tablespoons butter
Spread the peanut butter on one slice of bread and the mashed banana on the other. Press the slices gently together. Melt the butter (or to be truly Elvis-like, melt bacon fat!), over low heat in a small frying pan. Place the sandwich in the pan and fry until golden brown on both sides. Eat it with a glass of buttermilk.
Please note: Elvis tended to eat 12-15 sandwiches a sitting! So belly up!





--------------------------------------



Just One COUNTY
This is only one County................If this doesn't open eyes, nothing will!

From the L. A. Times

1. 40% of all workers in L. A. County ( L. A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This is because they are predominantly illegal immigrants working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 35% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8 Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L. A.. are Spanish speaking.
10.. In L. A. County 5.1 million people speak English, 3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L. A. County ... )

(All 10 of the above facts were published in the Los Angeles Times)

Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare. Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth(and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration. 29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens .

We are fools for letting this continue


In a recent survey requested by president Obama, African Americans have
proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!
In the survey, carried out for him, by a leading toiletries firm, a huge
majority, 86% of African Americans, said that they have enjoyed sex in
the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
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1. ronni9 10:50 PM GMT en Marzo 08, 2011    
STARTING A NEW
Member Since: Diciembre 3, 2007 Posts: 5 Comments: 848
2. unruly 10:34 PM GMT en Mayo 19, 2011    
Thanks Ronni I have been reading your blog since I found this site. Great work!
Member Since: Octubre 10, 2009 Posts: 27 Comments: 4454
4. ronni9 10:31 PM GMT en Mayo 28, 2011    
it said 3 only 2
Member Since: Diciembre 3, 2007 Posts: 5 Comments: 848
5. unruly 11:34 PM GMT en Junio 12, 2011    
Quoting ronni9:
it said 3 only 2
One of your posters must have been banned.
Member Since: Octubre 10, 2009 Posts: 27 Comments: 4454
6. ronni9 10:47 PM GMT en Junio 13, 2011    
Quoting unruly:
unruly 11:34 PM GMT on June 12, 2011
Quoting ronni9:
it said 3 only 2
One of your posters must have been banned.


I check my banned and ignored setting and nothing in them
Member Since: Diciembre 3, 2007 Posts: 5 Comments: 848
11. ronni9 11:26 PM GMT en Junio 13, 2011    
Member Since: Diciembre 3, 2007 Posts: 5 Comments: 848
12. unruly 6:09 PM GMT en Julio 23, 2011    
Hiya Ronni!!!
Member Since: Octubre 10, 2009 Posts: 27 Comments: 4454
13. ronni9 7:40 PM GMT en Julio 25, 2011    
Hi unruly thanks for stopping bye
when will you open up yours for messages?
Member Since: Diciembre 3, 2007 Posts: 5 Comments: 848
14. unruly 8:05 PM GMT en Julio 25, 2011    
Quoting ronni9:
Hi unruly thanks for stopping bye
when will you open up yours for messages?
Usually at night. Trolls have been around lately.
Member Since: Octubre 10, 2009 Posts: 27 Comments: 4454

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