Dry Slot

Posted by: Bogon, 9:34 PM GMT en Mayo 11, 2013

Yesterday (Friday) I drove my mother-in-law to an appointment with her masseuse. MIL can still drive, but age is creeping up on her. She faces increasingly impaired mobility, which is one reason why she moved into an assisted living community this week. Three of her four daughters, including Wife, were involved in the move. Things have been a little crazy around here lately.

The appointment was in Graham, the county seat. It's not far. Graham shares a boundary with Burlington, our home town. It's just far enough that I don't get down that way often. Since I expected the massage to last about an hour, and since the weather was clear and warm, I took advantage of the opportunity to walk around, to get better aquainted with this small town neighbor. You can see things and understand relationships better on foot than when you're negotiating a car through red lights and traffic.

One of the first shops I passed was a travel agency. Prominently displayed on the front window was a big poster advertising Universal Studios Resort in Orlando, Florida. Normally I'm oblivious to such things, but in this case the coincidence was overwhelming. A week ago Wife and I were there. My mind drifts back...

The Universal resort breaks down into three parts. Each part is built around a body of water. There are plenty of springs, lakes, rivers, bayous, swamps, or ponds — whatever you want to call 'em — in that part of the world. I cannot say whether the ones I saw were originally natural or totally man-made. The landscape and architecture around the resort were manifestly artificial. That ersatz quality is actually part of the appeal. Visitors are invited to indulge in the fantasy. It probably helps if, like me, you're myopic with incipient cataracts. The simulations probably look better if your vision is a bit blurry.

On the first day of our visit, after we drove down from Daytona, we entered the section called Universal Studios. The Universal logo, a blue globe, stands by the gate. Buildings inside the park recreate the appearance of movie studios. Streets have names like Sunset Boulevard, Studio Drive and Production Plaza. The tagline is, "Experience the Movies." As we made our way through the other pedestrian traffic on the street, it began to rain. Soon we were dodging a parade of zany Minions riding a locomotive in the opposite direction. To our left a roller coaster rumbled, its passengers emitting screams on cue. We weren't ready for the scary red coaster. Instead we wandered into an attraction called Revenge of the Mummy.

Frankly I was expecting a sedate fun house ride, with looming skeletons, maniacal laughter, trailing damp spider webs etc. What I found was that, despite being assembled inside a building, the ride was in fact another roller coaster. As with many of the other rides in the park, this one was augmented by vertiginous images projected on the walls, which serve to distract and disorient the viewer. Wife was having a blast. I nearly had a heart attack. The good news is that afterwards I was better prepared for... whatever. I put on my jet pilot persona, and I was good to go. And so next day, when we rode The High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride! in the Islands of Adventure section, I was able to maintain my composure.

Islands of Adventure provides a total immersion experience. Here Universal creates entire imaginary worlds in miniature. We started at Hogwarts. Wife wanted to do the Harry Potter ride before the lines got too long. We rode it twice. Next we wandered through the jungles of Jurassic Park, whence we narrowly escaped into Toon Lagoon. The total immersion thing was rendered more immediate and compelling by the rain, which continued all that day. Florida badly needed the precipitation, which helped us feel better about the weather. We tried to get into the spirit of the thing by riding Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges. After that my shoes and shorts were soaked, so I really didn't have that much to lose. I strode blithely through the puddles and downpour, while Wife's mien waxed worn and woefully wilted.

By midafternoon she was ready to ride the ferry back to to our hotel. Alas, there was thunder in the air, and we found the boats parked by the quay. We were advised that the shuttle bus was our only transportation option. (I was prepared to walk, but Wife was feeling far too bedraggled for that.) So we abided on a bench in a sodden shelter until the bus arrived; we lurched on clammy cushions while the driver made his round of three hotels that serve the theme park. At least the bus was air conditioned. We were feeling somewhat better by the time we disembarked at our destination. A hot shower, dry clothes and an excellent dinner at an uncommonly expensive restaurant completed our rehabilitation.

Next day dawned clear and sunny. We slept late and enjoyed room service breakfast in bed. I went for a swim in the hotel pool. At last, with delightful cooperation from the elements, we were willing to try our third transportation option, the sidewalk. As we strolled toward the park we faced a bit of a quandary. Our tickets were good for three days, but we could only enter one park per day. Which would it be? There were surely things in both sections that we had missed, and attractions that we would be happy to experience again. We ended up in the third part, City Walk. Under the circumstances only one destination seemed appropriate. We made for the shade of the Porch of Indecision at Margaritaville.

No tickets were required, no hurry, no worry. We were on vacation. We ordered lunch, then went to see a movie. A new movie, that is, not one that we had seen before, and not one produced by Universal. After the show we returned to the Porch. We sat facing outward, where we could watch folks screeching around the big green Hulk coaster across the 'river'. Following the sage advice of our waiter we ordered a flight of margaritas. Eventually, as the afternoon wore on and the shadows slowly lengthened, we chose a favorite flavor and bought ourselves full-size versions. Mine was a pretty drink made with blue Curaçao. The name on the menu ultimately sold me: License to Chill. Tomorrow we would deal with car rental, airports and a reluctant return to reality, but for the moment it was a mellow world indeed. Our alcohol-mediated vision was sufficiently blurry to make all the simulations register perfectly. :o)

Now I find that there is a fond place in my memory reserved for the Porch of Indecision. With only a subtle shift of emphasis and perspective I can return to that mellow world at will. I don't need an airplane or tequila to get there — though there will surely be days when another 'flight' might help set the stage, so to speak. I guess my trip to Universal did teach me a thing or two about show business after all.

...Meanwhile Graham awaits me. Chances are good that I will be called on to take MIL back again. Next time, weather permitting, I want to take my camera, so that I can share the view with you.

Categories:Spring Destinations

Updated: 10:21 PM GMT en Mayo 11, 2013

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Flying Chaucer

Posted by: Bogon, 12:23 AM GMT en Abril 02, 2013

WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,
And smale fowles maken melodye,
That slepen al the night with open ye,
(So priketh hem natu...

Spring Takes It Up a Notch

Redbud

Categories:Humor Climate Change

Updated: 10:38 PM GMT en Abril 10, 2013

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Move to Amend

Posted by: Bogon, 2:28 PM GMT en Marzo 06, 2013

From religion to politics: guess I just can't leave well enough alone.

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Categories:Politics

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The Search for Inspiration

Posted by: Bogon, 3:25 PM GMT en Enero 31, 2013

In my never-ending struggle to keep things rolling here in the Dry Slot I've found that there are two ways to proceed. One is to sit by the keyboard and think. The other is to get up and go.

By now I have accumulated experience with both approaches. The first method is harder. It might not seem so at first. All you have to do is sit there and wait for inspiration to strike. Then with the hot idea burning a hole in your head, type it up, and Bob's yo...

Categories:Religion Humor

Updated: 6:03 PM GMT en Enero 31, 2013

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Blog On!

Posted by: Bogon, 2:14 PM GMT en Enero 05, 2013

The other day I sat down to write a new blog for the new year. I had a plan, but something happened. I had to get up and walk away from the computer. Now I have no idea what I was going to say.

Probably something about cessation and continuity, pausing for reflection, resolving to do better et cetera. You know, the usual suspects. The odometer rolled over.

Did you ever notice how years always begin with January? What's up with that? Obvi...

Categories:In Memorium Forecasting

Updated: 4:49 PM GMT en Enero 05, 2013

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